Post-pandemic tips

What a pleasure it is to have you visit my page! 

It's so nice you're here. I haven’t seen anyone in almost two years, so I wanted to take some time to write personally to you some tips for going out in a post-pandemic world:

1. Wear sunglasses and a hat. You can ditch the hat once you’ve had a proper haircut.

2. Wear light pants. If you are shorter like me, this will help you appear taller, giving the illusion of growth over the pandemic.

3. Keep your hands in your pockets at all times. This means you may have to eat and pee before you head out the door. Any seasoned road tripper knows this.

4. If you have to take your hands out of their pockets wash them; this will demonstrate significant personal growth thus leading to your maturity, success and overall happiness in life. 

Note: If you forget to wash your hands, the light pants will show your faults. Progress over perfectionism!